Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Newborn Child Born into Islam - Qur'an and Sunnah on parenting

Children are a source of delight and an adornment for the world 
granted by Allaah to their parents, they give vigour to the hearts, 
joy to the souls, pleasure to the eyes. They are the fruit from whom 
good is to be hoped for when they frequently supplicate: 

"Our Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they did bring me up when I 
was small"

and they are the ones in every nation upon whom hope for the future 
lies, and they are the youth of tomorrow upon whose shoulders the 
call to Islaam is carried. Indeed Islaam has indeed elevated the 
status of children and has laid down manners for their treatment 
relating to all their affairs and each stage of their and from these 
are the manners for welcoming their arrival in this life.

Our Prophet (SAW) was a living example, educating, cultivating the 
Muslims upon the practices of Islaam, teaching them how to worship 
their Lord in the best of ways. But a number of Muslims have strayed 
from his pure teachings and have substituted that which is gold for 
that which worthless. 

So here are the manners the Prophet (SAW) taught us with regards our 
new-born.



Encouragement to have Children

Allaah says, "So now have sexual relations with them,, and seek that 
which Allaah has ordained for you."

And the Prophet (SAW) said, "Marry the loving and fertile because 
through you, I will compete with the nations for superiority in 
numbers"(Abu Dawood)

And it is important that the Parents bring up their children upon 
righteousness, so that the Parents will benefit from them during 
their lives and after their death. Allaah's Messenger (SAW) said, 

"A servant will have his rank raised and will say, 'O my Lord how has 
this come about for me?' He says, 'through your sons after you 
seeking forgiveness for you'"(ibn Maajah)

Know that what has preceded applies equally to both boys and girls, 
and indeed Islaam has encouraged the bringing up of girls, and Allaah 
condemns those that are distressed at the birth of a girl, and the 
Messenger (SAW) came elevating the status of this gift from Allaah, 

"whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and 
I will come together on the Day of Resurrection (like this) - and he 
interlaced his two fingers"(Muslim)

meaning in Paradise. So can their be a greater honour given to 
daughters?!



Giving the good news of the Birth

The near of kin who are anxiously waiting should be informed so that 
they can stop worrying and congratulate the parents and supplicate 
for the baby. Allaah mentions this good news being conveyed to a 
number of His Prophets, from them Zakariyyah of his son Yahya,

"Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in a 
private room (saying), 'Allaah gives you glad tidings of Yahya'"



Giving the Adhaan in the ear of the newborn

The first practice to do is to make the adhaan in the ear of the 
baby, so that the first words that the baby hears is the name of 
Allaah, and the kalima. 

It is to be given straight after the birth, or very soon afterwards 
as he (SAW) did with his grandson al-Husayn, as is related by Abu 
Raafi' who said, 

"I saw the Prophet give the adhaan for prayer in the ear of al-Husayn 
ibn Alee when his mother Faatimah gave birth to him," (Tirmidhee)

It should be given with it's usual wording in a voice which is 
audible to the baby, not so loudly that it risks harm to the baby or 
alarms it.

Only the adhaan is to be given, not the iqaamah as well as there is 
no authentic evidence to support this. Giving the adhaan only is also 
the reported practice of the Khaleefah Umar bin Abdul Azeez. This is 
closer to the sunnah, and Allaah knows best.

The sunnah has not specified as to which ear it should be given, 
however the Messenger (SAW) used to love to do good actions starting 
from the right, so it would be more appropriate to give the adhaan in 
the right ear.



4) The Tahneek

This means to softening a date and then rubbing the palate of the new-
born with it just after the birth or soon after. This is done by 
putting a piece of the softened date on the finger and rubbing it 
from left to right in the mouth of the baby.

Ibn Hajr said, "if one is not able to find a dry date, then a fresh 
date should be used, and if that is not available then anything 
sweet." (Fath 9/588)

It is not essential to chew the date rather it may be softened in any 
way. The action of chewing as reported in the sunnah was something 
specific to the Messenger (SAW) due to the blessings that Allaah had 
placed in his saliva.

It is done by the father or the mother or anyone from the People of 
Knowledge whose supplication is hoped would be accepted. So he should 
perform tahneek and supplicate for the child as was the practice of 
the Companions.

Imaam Nawawee says, " scholars are agreed upon the recommendation of 
performing tahneek upon the baby after it's birth." (Sharh Saheeh 
Muslim 4/122)

Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the 
Messenger of Allaah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, 
and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)



Naming the child

The baby may be named on the day of it's birth or later on the 
seventh day or past the seventh day, as this is what is clear after 
study of all the evidences from the sunnah.

It is the father or the mother who chose the name for the baby. If 
they differ amongst themselves then it is the father who has the 
choice, he may name it himself or give his wife the right to choose. 
The fact that this is the right of the father is shown by the 
principle that the child is ascribed and attributed to the father, as 
Allaah says,

"Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is 
more just in the Sight of Allaah"

It is also allowed for the parents to allow others to name the child, 
since our Prophet (SAW) used to name some of the children of his 
Companions.

The name should carry a good and praiseworthy meaning as the 
Messenger (SAW) said, 

"On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and 
your fathers names, so make your names good." (Abu Dawood) 

It is recommended to call oneself a servant of Allaah (Abdullaah) or 
the servant of any of the names of Allaah. Then it is recommended to 
name a child after a prophet, due to the hadeeth,

"call yourselves by the names of the Prophets" (Abu Dawood)

and the hadeeth, 

"a son was born to me this night and I called him after my forefather 
Ibraaheem" (Muslim)

Then it is recommended to name the child after any pious person in 
the hope that it will become like him/her. Then it is recommended to 
name by any name which has good meaning.

It is forbidden to name a child with a name that denote servitude to 
other than Allaah, for example Abd an-Nabi, Abd ar-Rasool etc, just 
as it is forbidden to name them with names that are particular to the 
Unbelievers like George, Michael, Susan etc. 

The names of tyrants and evil personalities should be avoided such as 
Fir'awn, Qaroon, Abu Lahab etc.. Likewise it is disliked to name with 
the names of the Surahs of the Qur'aan like 'Taa Haa' or 'Yaa Seen' 
as is reported from Imaam Maalik and others. There is no authentic 
hadeeth which ascribes the above two as being names of the Prophet 
(SAW). 



6) The Aqeeqah

After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of 
welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings, 
it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (SAW) said, 

"Every child is in pledge for it's Aqeeqah which is sacrificed for it 
on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved" 
(Abu Dawood)

If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if 
it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of 
the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (SAW) said, 

"for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep." (Ibn 
Maajah)

So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat, 
and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars 
have differed over this.

The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for 
our Prophet (SAW) performed the Aqeeqah for his two grandsons. It is 
also obligatory to mention the name of Allaah over it while 
sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqeeqah then 
he should add, 'this aqeeqah is the Aqeeqah of so and so' mentioning 
the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqeeqah, 
as is reported in the hadeeth related by al-Bayhaqee.

The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but 
it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater 
blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.



Shaving the baby's head

On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be 
shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (SAW) told his 
daughter, Faatima (RA), 

"shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the 
poor" (Ahmad)

The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as 
mentioned in the hadeeth,

"shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the 
left" (Muslim)

It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, 
as this was prohibited by the Messenger (SAW) as reported by al-
Bukhaaree. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or 
the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the 
hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and 
Allaah knows best.

The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious 
predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby's head after the 
shaving.

Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby's weight of hair 
in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on 
the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be 
delayed.



Circumcision

It is prescribed that the boy be circumcised, it is recommended that 
the circumcision take place on the seventh day, but it is obligatory 
to circumcise before the boy reaches puberty.

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